'All-terrain' tires are a misnomer.

OK, I tried a whole lot of different styles to write this. None of them worked out, so I'm just going to be as honest as I can.

Last week I got stuck in the sand and I had the time of my life!

Exhibit A

Never have I felt as retarded as I did that day. I've driven my truck for about 9 years and I've known for the longest time that I can't drive in sand. But! Last Thursday I felt adventurous and then committed the worst sin when going exploring.

The sin is that I live in Arizona

Anyways, while exploring, I found a path that I had never been on and quickly found myself in sand. Knowing full well that if I stop, I'm stuck, I started looked for a place where I could do a U-turn. When I found out that wasn't going to happen, I hoped for the best.

Those bumps in the sand are nature's way of laughing at you.

Well... it worked out as well as expected. I tried to get myself out, by rocking back and forth and trying to put rocks underneath, but...

Sand makes fools of us all.

 

Here's the thing when you're stuck; to get unstuck, you need at least a shovel and a second person. I had neither. I needed someone who could make their way out to the middle of the desert and bring a shovel. And to make things worse, I got stuck at 9 in the morning, I was working the second shift at work. Convincing anyone to get out of work to save my moronic butt would be hard, few people would be willing to leave their job. Except for one man....

Scott Sorensen.

Seen here being a most awesome friend while still finding the time to laugh at me.

 

While I waited for him, I decided look around and see if I could find anything that would help us get me out of the hole. What I found made me feel a little better.

The desert provides.

That board and a couple like it along with that tow strap let me know that I wasn't the first idiot to get stuck there. Soon after, Scott showed up. Time to start digging!

You start...

Fast forward a little more than 3 hours and a couple of brainstorming sessions, and this how far we got.

Progress!

Now, Scott drives a 4x4 Ford Ranger, which weighs about 2.5 tons soaking wet. My truck is pushing 3.5 tons. That extra ton meant that he couldn't pull me out of the sand without him digging himself in. We found ourselves in a dilemma. We still had to go about 30 yards before the sand ended. It doesn't sound like much, but...

At the rate we were going, it was going to take us the rest of the day before we got out of the sand. We needed a miracle.

And we got one!

On the way in into where I was stuck (I say I was stuck and not us because Scott could 4 wheel his way out any freaking time he wanted. Seriously, next truck I buy is going to be a 4x4), there are some fully grown trees that are inside some huge planters. Those trees have been there for a really long time. And not once, have I ever seen anyone working on them. Except for that day. That day, there was a huge front end loader moving these trees into a semi bed. In what must've been the smartest idea we had that day, we decided to go ask the guy for help.

It took the guy about a minute to drag me out of the sand.

The mysterious stranger roams the desert helping those in need.

Hoping that one day he'll make amends for his troubled past.

This whole experience took over 5 hours and I was seriously having the time of my life the entire time.

So, remember children. Don't go exploring alone, make sure you have a shovel and make sure your truck is a 4x4!