Dog Vs. Elders

So this one requires a little back story. In my first area down in Mexico, Tultitlan, there was this giant field between where Elder Campbell and I lived and part of our area where there were some apartments. The only way that we knew how to get there was to basically go around this big field, taking the city roads(civilization) which took about 20 minutes to go around. We wanted something better.

Because walking Sucks



So one day, we scope out the other side of the field to flesh out our "genius plan". Everything is looking PRETTY good for the next day. We felt smart...

So picture this, the next day, Elder Campbell and I, with our confidence, are starting to cross this field when we hear:

"A nnnn ero y mu re" (Thh uh dug und ee ite)

So naturally we look around and wonder what that noise was. All we see is a tree behind us, some sheep ahead of us and a lovely field in the middle of the City of Mexico.

We hear it a second time.

"Hay un perro y muerde!" (There's a dog and he bites!)

This phrase doesn't register in our brains. So we still look for the guy who's talking.

Where IS this guy?

There he is! He's standing next to another tree ahead of us with the sheep!

We hear the cryptic message again.

"Hay un perro y muerde!"

It kinda registers this time. So I look around and see a house maybe 50, 60 yards away. With a poof of dust coming around the corner.

Is that a dog? About half a second later, I confirm that is, in fact, a dog. And he's coming straight at me.

Who's a good boy?!?!?! Yes you are!

So here's the situation. There's only one rule that comes to being chased by a dog. "You don't have to run faster than the dog, only faster than your companion" My companion has a good 80 foot head start. Oh, and he's a cross country runner.

I, on the other hand, am not considered athletic. I "ran" a mile in 13 minutes, 5 years ago as a freshman in high school. I'm wearing a shoulder(man) bag, Sunday clothes and a dog on my face.

I run away anyways. And as I'm running for my now precious life, I can feel this dog grabbing my pant leg. I don't want to look back because I know EXACTLY where it is. I may have screamed like a little girl.

In my mad dash to safety, with dog in tow, I miraculously catch up to my companion....... and leave him in the dust.

Arriba arriba! Epa, epa!

After we reach relative safety, and are catching our breath and manhood without a bite or even torn pants. My companion asks me, "Elder, where did you get so much speed?"

My response?

"....I was motivated"

Tire problems.

Sooooooo, yesterday. I had some truck problems. Apparently, other parts of my truck are jealous because everyone else is getting replaced.

Drama queen

So, yesterday. I had been running around a lot yesterday, errands, hanging out with family, installing a stereo that I bought two months ago. I even helped someone move, I even had a party to go to that night.  It was a good day, What could go wrong?( You know what happens. Don't act surprised )

So I go home, clean up, and make my way to the party.

I'm not even 2 miles from my house when I hear a pop! MY TIRE HAD BEEN SLASHED BY THE WOLVERINE!

This is my situation. With my whole, "engine swap" adventure, I had lost the metal bar that lifts up my car jack. That doesn't matter because I don't have a spare tire.



That's because the oversize tires don't fit in the spare tire place under my truck. I don't remember if I bought tow-truck insurance, that doesn't matter because it's 7:00 pm on a Saturday, so there's no tire shop open. I'm also about 1.5 miles from home, so paying $50+ to get it towed there will be like getting a punch to the nuts by a 2 year old, painful and humiliating.

AND no one is picking up their phone, the only person who does is getting a pedicure.

So I look at my options.

1. I can ditch the truck and walk home.
2. I can curl up into a little ball and cry.
3. I can drive the beast home.

Option #2 is looking really good at this point, but it's not manly. So guess which remaining option I took?

I'll give you a hint

With my evening ruined and now hungry. I decide to celebrate my adventure with some Pizza Hut...

...because they deliver.

Run Waldo, run!

So it appears that I've had this blog since 2009, and never written a single thing. Some people (2) have made the comment that I should totally have a blog to share my stories. I'm going to start with a good story. So here goes.

The day: Sunday, June 5th, 2011.
The time: 11:02 AM.
The place: Church.

Imagine this, I wake up on time, feel fairly confident that I knew exactly what was going to happen that day and I was feeling generally good about life. Got my truck back, new engine, gotta baby the thing, but whatever. All in all, life is good.
So here I am in my normal good Sunday and I'm chilling in a meeting that I have at church, having my normal thoughts (read: no thoughts whatsoever). When I get a random text from my brother, "Are you coming?"
This simple text sets off a chain reaction of thoughts and memories where I remember that my brother had invited me to go to his daughter's baby blessing, TWO WEEKS AGO!
Keep in mind, this is his newborn child, his firstborn child. My older brother can "potentially" still beat the crap out of me. This means a lot to him. This is kinda important.

Pictured: Kinda Important

So in what has to be the fastest and most awkward goodbye's I've ever given, I book it out of my meeting.

Now that I'm out, I only have the small task of going from my building to my brother's. Here's the situation: His services start at 11:00 am. Baby blessing are one of the first things they do. I have to travel 6.5 miles NOW or else I miss the whole thing. PLUS! I got this:

Not pictured: speed, dignity.

So I convince the truck to run like a race horse down the freeway at speeds I'd rather not specify. Once off the freeway, I seem to find all the red lights that the great city of Peoria has to offer. Fortunately, once I finally get there, I find the best parking spot EVER.

Anyways, somehow, I still make it to the building in 8 minutes.

At this point I'm basically running inside (RUNNING! ME! Who hasn't run since that dog chased me down in Mexico (different story)), only to hear that someone is already blessing a baby....

HOORAY! It's some other guy's baby!

So I bust open the door....

                                                                Artist's interpretation

...to see that my brother and his wife, Jessica, are staring at me with this look of, "HOLY CRAP, WE DIDN'T THINK YOU'D MAKE IT"

I got there with a full 40 seconds to spare to participate in one of the most special moments of my brother's life.

BAM!